My wife Crystal asked me how I would do Noah differently. There are three vices a writer may choose: profanity, violence, and sex. It seems Aronofsky falls squarely into the violence camp. One thing I learned from writing my first novel (SuSAn) is that I much prefer sex.
Think about it! A small band of survivors need to repopulate the Earth. Noah is a beautiful opportunity for some very intense romances. I’m not talking about explicit depictions of humans mating on screen, simply people forming relationships and facing epic struggles to keep them. A very simple change would be to replace the last half of the movie with a series of dangerous raids on the camp of humanity to rescue some girls. The movie makes a half-hearted gesture towards this, then abandons it in favor of despair.
Rationally they should rescue as many girls as they can get their hands on. Patriarchal societies practiced polygamy. Packing the Ark with a harem would be much closer to the Biblical story than we get with the movie.
The movie dropped another incredibly interesting thread: this notion of an advanced pre-flood civilization. So how about a take on it that combines both ideas?
Noah & Sons is a junk-yard on the edge of town. Shem, Ham and Japheth go to the local school, where they are courting various girls. Society is on the brink of collapse due to resource depletion and climate change.
Speaking of climate change: for the first time in all of recorded history it is about to rain. Scientists don’t know what to make of it, but the Powers that Be say, “Party on dudes! Nothing to worry about.” Business as usual. Continue raping the Earth for resources. Blah, blah, blah.
Noah pursues his two favorite hobbies: botany and the brewing of fine ales. Then one day he smokes too many mushrooms and has a vision about the end of the world. His army of recycled robots dutifully help him build a giant floating box, and in his spare time he tries to convince everyone that trouble is coming. No-one listens, because of course modern civilization will continue as it always has. No changes necessary.
At first his sons are embarrassed to be associated with him. Kids at school make fun of them for having such a nut-case for a father. However, a few loyal girlfriends stand up for them. Tons of high-school drama. Eventually the sons become convinced that trouble is coming and join their father’s mission.
Animals show up. They take blood samples and sequence the genomes, but only keep one female from each major group to be surrogate mothers for the synthetic ova they will create later. They don’t take human samples because it is more fun for them to repopulate the old-fashioned way. Most of the room on the Ark is for food and all the people they hope to save.
Then the big day comes. The boys text their girlfriends, but service seems to be down. They make a mad dash through the city to find them while the first drops start falling. Car chases and mortal drama ensue as they try to make it back to the Ark in time.
Then a huge tsunami sweeps across the planet. They dive in the door at the last second and slam it shut, just as the water hits. (Phil Farrand calls this kind of scene “Dead In Exactly Two Seconds”.) They stare forlornly at the mostly empty boat and wish they could have saved more people.
The boat comes to rest and they follow through on the plan, but can’t rebuild technology. When the fusion reactor on the Ark finally gives out, Noah’s descendants revert to a primitive way of life. Stories of the flood pass into legend.
However, the remains of the ship and equipment are still sitting in an obscure crevasse somewhere in the mountains of Turkey. In 2014, a hiking expedition stumbles upon them, and finds Noah’s log book. This could be the framing story, which both opens and closes the movie.